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Thread: The ladies of the nursing home

 
  1. #1
    Senior Member Frank van den Eeden's Avatar
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    Wink The ladies of the nursing home

    Jane and Arlene, two elderly ladies, are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke.
    When it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette,
    and continues smoking.

    Arlene: What in the hell is that?

    Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

    Arlene: Where did you get it?

    Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

    The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

    The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

    'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'


    The pharmacist fainted.
    beste groeten - sincères salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Grüßen

  2. #2
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    Bravo Frank! You always share the best jokes. Keep them coming.


    Joel
    "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Frank van den Eeden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    thank you Joel,
    I have another one here for you
    you may already know it
    because you're in the business ...

    where does a detective sleep ?

    under-cover !

    grtz.
    Frank
    beste groeten - sincères salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Grüßen

  4. #4
    Senior Member mvictoria's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    hehehe! good one, Frank! keep 'em coming!

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    Senior Member Ezequiel's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    hahahah I hadn't seen this thread until know!

    2 great jokes Frank they actually made me laugh :P

    I think you should be named the forum's official joker!!!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    Your right Frank, I have heard that one before. If you like police jokes one of my favorites came out just after the 2004 Superbowl halftime fiasco.

    1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?"
    2nd Officer: "Who?"
    1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!"
    2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?"
    1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."

    For a more cerebral joke:

    What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
    A small medium at large.


    I doubt I'll get the haha's you get but perhaps a titter from the audience?

    Joel
    "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

  7. #7
    Senior Member Frank van den Eeden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    uhmm... the forum’s official joker ...?
    Can’t you think of something else ?
    Hope it was meant as a compliment ...
    no worries mate ! just joking (as a joker is expected to !)

    I love the small medium at large
    (yet it’s a very very sad story ...)


    disfrutamos el camino
    un saludo,
    Frank.
    beste groeten - sincères salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Grüßen

  8. #8
    Senior Member Ezequiel's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    Of course it was meant as a joke, Frank! (sorry for the delay)

    My contribution to this thread:

    A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
    He said: "Call for backup."

  9. #9
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    Superb Ezequiel, Absolutely Superb!
    "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

  10. #10
    Senior Member mvictoria's Avatar
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    Default Re: The ladies of the nursing home

    JAJAJAJAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Eze that was baaaaad...

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