The ladies of the nursing home - English Spanish Translator Org: Translation Forum � Translators Forums

Frank van den Eeden · 02-18-2009, 02:39 AM

Jane and Arlene, two elderly ladies, are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke.
When it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette,
and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

El Detective · 02-18-2009, 08:52 AM

Bravo Frank! You always share the best jokes. Keep them coming.

Joel

Frank van den Eeden · 02-26-2009, 01:39 AM

thank you Joel,
I have another one here for you
you may already know it
because you're in the business ...

where does a detective sleep ?

under-cover !

grtz.
Frank

mvictoria · 02-26-2009, 09:56 AM

hehehe! good one, Frank! keep 'em coming!

Ezequiel · 02-27-2009, 11:14 AM

hahahah I hadn't seen this thread until know!

2 great jokes Frank they actually made me laugh :P

I think you should be named the forum's official joker!!!

El Detective · 02-27-2009, 11:34 AM

Your right Frank, I have heard that one before. If you like police jokes one of my favorites came out just after the 2004 Superbowl halftime fiasco.

1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?"
2nd Officer: "Who?"
1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!"
2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?"
1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."

For a more cerebral joke:

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

I doubt I'll get the haha's you get but perhaps a titter from the audience?

Joel

Frank van den Eeden · 02-27-2009, 11:43 AM

uhmm... the forum�s official joker ...?
Can�t you think of something else ?
Hope it was meant as a compliment ...
no worries mate ! just joking (as a joker is expected to !)

I love the small medium at large
(yet it�s a very very sad story ...)

disfrutamos el camino
un saludo,
Frank.

Ezequiel · 03-10-2009, 05:17 AM

Of course it was meant as a joke, Frank! (sorry for the delay)

My contribution to this thread:

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said: "Call for backup."

El Detective · 03-10-2009, 05:20 AM

Superb Ezequiel, Absolutely Superb!

mvictoria · 03-10-2009, 11:43 AM

JAJAJAJAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Eze that was baaaaad...

02-18-2009, 02:39 AM	#1
Frank van den Eeden Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Antwerp/Belgium Age: 63 Posts: 334 Rep Power: 433	The ladies of the nursing home *Jane and Arlene, two elderly ladies, are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke.* *When it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette,* *and continues smoking.* Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. 'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.' *The pharmacist fainted.* __________________ beste groeten - sinc�res salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Gr��en

02-18-2009, 08:52 AM	#2
El Detective Contributing User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Georgia Age: 55 Posts: 196 Rep Power: 458	Re: The ladies of the nursing home Bravo Frank! You always share the best jokes. Keep them coming. Joel __________________ "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

02-26-2009, 01:39 AM	#3
Frank van den Eeden Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Antwerp/Belgium Age: 63 Posts: 334 Rep Power: 433	Re: The ladies of the nursing home thank you Joel, I have another one here for you you may already know it because you're in the business ... where does a detective sleep ? under-cover ! grtz. Frank __________________ beste groeten - sinc�res salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Gr��en

02-26-2009, 09:56 AM	#4
mvictoria Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 572 Rep Power: 223	Re: The ladies of the nursing home hehehe! good one, Frank! keep 'em coming!

02-27-2009, 11:14 AM	#5
Ezequiel Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina Posts: 392 Rep Power: 279	Re: The ladies of the nursing home hahahah I hadn't seen this thread until know! 2 great jokes Frank they actually made me laugh :P I think you should be named the forum's official joker!!!

02-27-2009, 11:34 AM	#6
El Detective Contributing User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Georgia Age: 55 Posts: 196 Rep Power: 458	Re: The ladies of the nursing home Your right Frank, I have heard that one before. If you like police jokes one of my favorites came out just after the 2004 Superbowl halftime fiasco. 1st Officer: "Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?" 2nd Officer: "Who?" 1st Officer: "Janet Jackson!" 2nd Officer: "What she do, was she speeding?" 1st Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out." For a more cerebral joke: What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large. I doubt I'll get the haha's you get but perhaps a titter from the audience? Joel __________________ "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

02-27-2009, 11:43 AM	#7
Frank van den Eeden Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Antwerp/Belgium Age: 63 Posts: 334 Rep Power: 433	Re: The ladies of the nursing home uhmm... the forum�s official joker ...? Can�t you think of something else ? Hope it was meant as a compliment ... no worries mate ! just joking (as a joker is expected to !) I love the small medium at large (yet it�s a very very sad story ...) disfrutamos el camino un saludo, Frank. __________________ beste groeten - sinc�res salutations - kindest regards - atentamente - mit freundlichen Gr��en

03-10-2009, 05:17 AM	#8
Ezequiel Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina Posts: 392 Rep Power: 279	Re: The ladies of the nursing home Of course it was meant as a joke, Frank! (sorry for the delay) My contribution to this thread: A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said: "Call for backup."

03-10-2009, 05:20 AM	#9
El Detective Contributing User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Georgia Age: 55 Posts: 196 Rep Power: 458	Re: The ladies of the nursing home Superb Ezequiel, Absolutely Superb! __________________ "El verdadero objectivo de la vida no es el destino final, si no disfrutar el camino."

03-10-2009, 11:43 AM	#10
mvictoria Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 572 Rep Power: 223	Re: The ladies of the nursing home JAJAJAJAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Eze that was baaaaad...

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