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Thread: Short funeral poem..translation accuracy?!!

 
  1. #1
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    Question Short funeral poem..translation accuracy?!!

    I am a small town funeral director who is working with a Spanish speaking family. They chose a poem for memorial folders and wanted translated into Spanish. I think I have the words translated right, but I want to see if there are any special changes needed for the poetic aspect. Any advice or help would be very appreciated by myself and the family I am helping.

    English poem:
    A Father Gone
    Gone is a Father loved by all,
    His soul is now at rest.
    He'll sleep in peace, his work is done,
    a father's work, the best.
    He will know the joy of perfect rest,
    In Heaven up above.
    Where he may well contentedly,
    Protected by God's love.
    Our hearts may grieve that he must lie
    Beneath the sacred sod,
    And ye we know he lives in peace within the house of God.

    This is the translation I have:

    Un Padre Ido

    Ido es un padre adorado por todo,

    su alma está ahora parada.
    El dormirá en la paz, su worke es hecho,
    un trabajo de padre es el mejor.
    El sabrá la alegría del descanso perfecto,
    en el cielo arriba arriba, donde
    él puede morar con satisfacción,
    protegido por el amor de Dios.
    Los corazones pueden gieve que él
    debe mentir bajo el césped sagrado.
    Mas sabemos que él vive en la paz


    dentro de la casa de Dios.



    Thanks again for any advice.
    Last edited by Jay74; 01-09-2007 at 06:46 PM.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay74
    I am a small town funeral director who is working with a Spanish speaking family. They chose a poem for memorial folders and wanted translated into Spanish. I think I have the words translated right, but I want to see if there are any special changes needed for the poetic aspect. Any advice or help would be very appreciated by myself and the family I am helping.

    English poem:
    A Father Gone
    Gone is a Father loved by all,
    His soul is now at rest.
    He'll sleep in peace, his work is done,
    a father's work, the best.
    He will know the joy of perfect rest,
    In Heaven up above.
    Where he may well contentedly,
    Protected by God's love.
    Our hearts may grieve that he must lie
    Beneath the sacred sod,
    And ye we know he lives in peace within the house of God.

    This is the translation I have:

    Un Padre Ido

    Ido es un padre adorado por todo,

    su alma está ahora parada.
    El dormirá en la paz, su worke es hecho,
    un trabajo de padre es el mejor.
    El sabrá la alegría del descanso perfecto,
    en el cielo arriba arriba, donde
    él puede morar con satisfacción,
    protegido por el amor de Dios.
    Los corazones pueden gieve que él
    debe mentir bajo el césped sagrado.
    Mas sabemos que él vive en la paz


    dentro de la casa de Dios.



    Thanks again for any advice.
    I think it will be necessary to polish it a little

    Un padre se ha ido
    Ha partido un padre amado por todos
    Ahora su alma descansa
    Dormirá en paz. Su tarea terminó,
    Su labor como padre fue la mejor
    Conocerá la alegría del descanso perfecto
    en el alto Cielo
    donde morará feliz protegido por el amor de Dios
    Nuestros corazones están tristes porque yace bajo el suelo sagrado
    Y sin embargo, sabemos que vive en paz en la casa de Dios.

    This would be a rather literal translation. I'm sure one of our friends can write a more poetical version

    So long

    Eulalia

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    Default No es muy poética, pero espero que te sirva...

    Un Padre (se ha) Ido
    (se ha) Ido un padre adorado por todos,
    su alma ahora descansa.
    El dormirá en paz, su trabajo (labor) está hecho (a),
    un trabajo de padre es el mejor.
    El conocerá la alegría del descanso perfecto,
    arriba en el cielo,
    donde él puede morar con satisfacción,
    protegido por el amor de Dios.
    Los corazones puede que se aflijan porque debe descansar
    bajo el césped sagrado.
    Mas sabemos que él vive en paz dentro de la casa de Dios.
    Last edited by Mexican Translator; 01-11-2007 at 05:16 PM.

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    Default Muy buenas las versiones!

    Hola David y Eulalia:
    Me gustan sus dos versiones que a la vez son tan diferentes. Una pequeña corrección para David:
    En el último verso, faltaría la preposición "en": "Más sabemos que él vive en paz...
    Jay, I´m sure these 2 versions have been of great help. Let us know!

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    Default

    You´re right... oops...

  6. #6
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    Default Both versions are good.

    I like them both too. Jay74, I think you can choose either of them because they are both correct and meaningful.

    Good luck, I hope this helps.

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