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  1. #1
    Registered User G&m3's Avatar
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    Wink a christmas night

    Hi!!! well, this is a story I made up some days ago. I don't want anything to be translated, I just want someone to check grammar mistakes or punctuation.
    I'd really appreciate your help
    sorry if this is not the correct place to post but I didn't know where the post could be placed.


    A christmas night
    People used to be warned about the strange noises coming from the lake. But only those living in the town assured to have heard them in the distance, at least once in their lives. From time to time, some visitors from other cities used to come so as to go through that unusual experience. However, many of them fail in their attempt. Many mysterious stories were made up as time went by, but, the most popular one was about the end of the old town at a Christmas night. But, no one knew when.
    Far away from the main road, but very near of the lake, a couple was living in a house. They had never heard noises before. For them, the stories about strange noises were unfamiliar so they considered it a fairy story made for unknown people to attract curious tourists to the town. ďYou donít believe that silly story, do you?Ē asked Mary to her husband who gave a little convincing answer. ďNo, I donít.Ē he doubtfully replied and they went on talking about the Christmas dinner that was coming soon. Arguments between them began to arise as soon as the proposal to have the dinner near the lake was mentioned. In the town, no one had ever had such idea and itíd be something that would allow people to talk about them.
    Although a few people lived in town, all of them would know their plans of having a Christmas dinner next to the lake. It was the right moment to prove that nothing was going to happen and also to have a chance to be recognized among the people as the ones who challenged the legend.
    News spread quickly and it didnítí take long to have everything ready.
    The day before Christmas arrived. Little by little, people from other places were seen around the town as well as some neighbours buying presents and meals to share with relatives, but something was wrong. No one had seen the recognizable coupleís faces in the town. What would have happened? Why anyone had any news from them? But it didnít take long to find rests of them scattered onto the floor of their house, covering with blood and chopped up into pieces.
    A murdering had been committed and no one was there to blame. No signs to catch the murder and no sigs of someone willing to commit a crime. A kind of mystery surrounded the scene of the crime but no one was able to give any relevant detail.
    Could someone have done such horrible thing to prevent the fatal destiny approaching the town? Otherwise, did life decide that the death is the cure for those challenging a well-know legend? We donít know, but the murder was never clarified.
    From that day on, some people went on making new stories related to the couple. Some others went on telling the same old-fashioned stories but with the power to attract new people to the old town and some others, just believed in the legend.

  2. #2
    Forum User sweetcamy's Avatar
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    Default Re: a christmas night

    Hi!
    I'm not an English native speaker, but maybe I can help you a little.
    Later a native can corroborate and help you more

    A Christmas Night
    (as far as I know, the first word in every title goes always in capital letters)

    People used to be warned about the strange noises coming from the lake. But only those living in the town assured to have heard them in the distance, at least once in their lives. From time to time, some visitors from other cities used to come so as to go through that unusual experience. However, many of them failed in their attempt. Many mysterious stories were made up as time went by, but, the most popular one was about the end of the old town at a Christmas night. But no one knew when.
    Far away from the main road, but very near of the lake, a couple was living in a house. They had never heard noises before. For them, the stories about strange noises were unfamiliar, so they considered it a fairy story made for (you meant "por"? in that case it'd be by) unknown people to attract curious tourists to the town. ďYou donít believe that silly story, do you?Ē, asked Mary to her husband, who gave a little convincing answer. ďNo, I donítĒ. He doubtfully replied, and they went on talking about the Christmas dinner that was coming soon. Arguments between them began to arise as soon as the proposal to have dinner near the lake was mentioned. In town, no one had ever had such idea, and itíd be something that would allow people to talk about them.
    Although a few people lived in town, all of them would know about their plans of having a Christmas dinner next to the lake. It was the right moment to prove that nothing was going to happen and also to have a chance to be recognized among the people as the ones who challenged the legend.
    News spread quickly and it didnít take long to have everything ready.
    So the day before Christmas arrived. Little by little, people from other places were seen around the town, as well as some neighbours buying presents and meals to share with relatives, but something was wrong. No one had seen the recognizable coupleís faces in the town. What would have happened? Why nobody had any news from them? But (I think this is not the appropriate connector, maybe you should use at the end or finally, I'm not sure though) it didnít take long to find rests of them scattered onto the floor of their house, covering with blood and chopped up into pieces.
    A murdering had been committed and no one was there to blame. No signs to catch the murder and no signs of someone willing to commit a crime. A kind of mystery surrounded the scene of the crime but no one was able to give any relevant detail.
    Could someone have done such horrible thing to prevent the fatal destiny approaching the town? Otherwise (maybe or else is more appropriate), did life decide that the death is the cure for those challenging a well-know legend? We donít know, but the murder was never clarified.
    From that day on, some people went on making new stories related to the couple. Some others went on telling the same old-fashioned stories, but with the power to attract new people to the old town; some others, just believed in the legend.


    Hope it helps.
    Regards.

  3. #3
    Registered User G&m3's Avatar
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    Default Re: a christmas night

    Thanks camy!

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    Forum User sweetcamy's Avatar
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    Default Re: a christmas night

    No problem

  5. #5
    Registered User G&m3's Avatar
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    Smile Re: a christmas night

    I'm glad you liked the story.
    Thank you so much for your reply!

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    Default Re: a christmas night

    Quote Originally Posted by G&m3
    Hi!!! well, this is a story I made up some days ago. I don't want anything to be translated, I just want someone to check grammar mistakes or punctuation.
    I'd really appreciate your help
    sorry if this is not the correct place to post but I didn't know where the post could be placed.



    A christmas night

    People used to be warned about the strange noises coming from the lake. But only those living in the town assured to have heard them in the distance, at least once in their lives. From time to time, some visitors from other cities used to come so as to go through that unusual experience. However, many of them fail in their attempt. Many mysterious stories were made up as time went by, but, the most popular one was about the end of the old town at a Christmas night. But, no one knew when.
    Far away from the main road, but very near of the lake, a couple was living in a house. They had never heard noises before. For them, the stories about strange noises were unfamiliar so they considered it a fairy story made for unknown people to attract curious tourists to the town. ďYou donít believe that silly story, do you?Ē asked Mary to her husband who gave a little convincing answer. ďNo, I donít.Ē he doubtfully replied and they went on talking about the Christmas dinner that was coming soon. Arguments between them began to arise as soon as the proposal to have the dinner near the lake was mentioned. In the town, no one had ever had such idea and itíd be something that would allow people to talk about them.
    Although a few people lived in town, all of them would know their plans of having a Christmas dinner next to the lake. It was the right moment to prove that nothing was going to happen and also to have a chance to be recognized among the people as the ones who challenged the legend.
    News spread quickly and it didnítí take long to have everything ready.
    The day before Christmas arrived. Little by little, people from other places were seen around the town as well as some neighbours buying presents and meals to share with relatives, but something was wrong. No one had seen the recognizable coupleís faces in the town. What would have happened? Why anyone had any news from them? But it didnít take long to find rests of them scattered onto the floor of their house, covering with blood and chopped up into pieces.
    A murdering had been committed and no one was there to blame. No signs to catch the murder and no sigs of someone willing to commit a crime. A kind of mystery surrounded the scene of the crime but no one was able to give any relevant detail.
    Could someone have done such horrible thing to prevent the fatal destiny approaching the town? Otherwise, did life decide that the death is the cure for those challenging a well-know legend? We donít know, but the murder was never clarified.
    From that day on, some people went on making new stories related to the couple. Some others went on telling the same old-fashioned stories but with the power to attract new people to the old town and some others, just believed in the legend.

    A christmas (Christmas) night (Night)
    People used to be warned about the strange noises coming from the lake. But only those living in the town assured (seemed) to have heard them in the distance, at least once in their lives. From time to time, some visitors from other cities used to come so as to go through that unusual experience. However, many of them fail (failed) in their attempt. Many mysterious stories were made up as time went by, (.)but, the (The) most popular one was about the end (destruction?) of the old town at a Christmas night. But, no one knew when.

    Far away from the main road, but very near of the lake, a couple was living (lived) in a house. They had never heard (the) noises before. For them, the stories about strange noises were unfamiliar so they considered it a fairy story made for unknown people to attract curious tourists to the town. ďYou donít believe that silly story, do you?Ē asked Mary to her husband (Mark asked her husband) who gave a little convincing answer. ďNo, I donít.Ē he doubtfully replied and they went on talking about the Christmas dinner that was coming soon. Arguments between them began to arise as soon as the proposal to have the dinner near the lake was mentioned. In the town, no one had ever had such (an) idea and itíd be something that would allow people to talk about them.


    Although a few people lived in town, all of them would know their plans of having a Christmas dinner next to the lake. It was the right moment to prove that nothing was going to happen and also to have a chance to be recognized among the people as the ones who challenged the legend.


    News spread quickly and it didnítí (didnít) take long to have everything ready.
    The day before Christmas arrived. Little by little, people from other places were seen around the town as well as some neighbours (neighbors) buying presents and meals to share with relatives, but something was wrong. No one had seen the recognizable coupleís faces in the town. What would (could) have happened? Why (hadnít) anyone had any news from (about) them? But it didnít take long to find rests (pieces) of them scattered onto (upon) the floor of their house, covering (covered) with blood and chopped up into pieces.
    (Murders) A murdering had been committed and no one was there to blame (there was no one to blame). (There were) No signs to catch the murder (murderer) and no sigs (signs) of someone willing to commit a (who had committed the) crime. A kind of mystery surrounded the scene of the crime but no one was able to give any relevant detail (details).
    Could someone have done such (a) horrible thing to prevent the fatal destiny approaching the town? Otherwise, did life decide that the death is the cure for those challenging a well-know legend? We donít know, but the murder was never clarified (solved).
    From that day on, some people went on making new stories related to the couple. Some others went on telling the same old-fashioned stories but with the power to attract new people to the old town and some others, just believed in the legend.




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