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Thread: Help with a short translation for a song lyric.

 
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    Question Help with a short translation for a song lyric.

    I need help with a short translation from English to Mexican style Spanish for a lyric to a song I'm writing. Here's the line in English:

    But I can see your heart upon your face, (I can) hear it with/in each of your steps. Can you feel mine (my heart) shine through you?

    Note: The words in parentheses ( ) are for your benefit only and are NOT part of the actual English lyric. Also, I only need to use either "with" or "in", whichever of these makes more sense in Spanish, not both.

    Here's what I got from using the internet to translate my line:

    Pero puedo ver tu corazón sobre tu cara, se puedo oír en cada uno de tus pasos. ¿Puedes sentir mina brillando a través de usted?


    Is the internet translation wrong?


    Here's what I got from other people on this site:

    puedo ver lo que siente tu corazón reflejado en tu rostro;
    Lo escucho en cada paso que tú das;
    ¿Puedes sentir mi corazón resplandecer sobre tí?


    Is this translation accurate? It seems a little different than what I'm saying in English.


    Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Xóchitl L.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a short translation for a song lyric.

    Hi Glenn,

    The internet translation is definitively wrong; any one in this forum can tell you so.

    As of the translation you got from other people on this site, is accurate.

    puedo ver lo que siente tu corazón reflejado en tu rostro;
    Lo escucho en cada paso que tú das;
    ¿Puedes sentir mi corazón resplandecer sobre tí?

    However, I would just change a couple of words according to my 'style'.

    Puedo ver lo que siente tu corazón reflejado en tu rostro;
    Lo escucho en cada paso que tú das;
    ¿Puedes sentir el mío resplandecer por tí?

    Regards,

    Xóchitl (Socheel)

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    Default Re: Help with a short translation for a song lyric.

    Thanks! Just wanted to make sure...

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    Default Re: Help with a short translation for a song lyric.

    Yeah one thing you never want to use a machine translation is with anything of a "poetic nature." It will butcher it every time..

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