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  1. #1
    Registered User foros's Avatar
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    Question Another composition that I need to revise.


    Madrid is one of the most exciting European cities of Spain and it has a wide offer of leisure such as amusements parks, museums, cinemas, shopping centers, bars, after hours, restaurants, zoos, etc.

    In general, the offer is open for all kind of public, both for children and adults, always at reasonable prices. This is because Madrid has been investing heavily in leisure in the last ten years and it can be said that anyone that visit us will not get bored at all.

    I would like to highlight several important places to go when visiting Madrid: Warner Bross Park, Prado Museum, Retiro Park, Kinepolis Cinema, the nightclubs on “Avenida de Brasil” and on “Plaza Santa Ana”, North Plaza Mall and especially the “Tour Bus” that shows you the most interesting places of Madrid.


    In conclusion, almost always all the visitor seeking leisure on Madrid will find it, since Madrid is a great city, has a good weather, nice people and it is a place where you can not get bored.

    Thank you.

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    Default Re: Another composition that I need to revise.

    Hola Foros, una versión a continuación. Saludos!

    Madrid is one of Europe's most exciting cities, offering a wide variety of leisure activities and destinations including amusements parks, museums, cinemas, shopping centers, bars, after-hours clubs, restaurants, and zoos.

    In general, activities for both children and adults are always available at reasonable prices. Because Madrid has invested heavily in tourism over the past ten years, it can be said that anyone that visits us will never get bored.

    I would like to highlight several important places to go when visiting Madrid: Warner Bross Park, the Prado Museum, Retiro Park, Kinepolis Cinema, the nightclubs on “Avenida de Brasil” and “Plaza Santa Ana”, North Plaza Mall and especially the “Tour Bus” which shows sightseers some of Madrid's most interesting places.

    Almost all visitors interested in leisure travel will find lots to do in Madrid, since it is a great city with good weather, nice people and plenty of great destinations.

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    Senior Member Cotty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition that I need to revise.

    Madrid is one of the most exciting European cities of Spain and it has a wide offer of leisure such as amusements parks, museums, cinemas, shopping centers, bars, after hours, restaurants, zoos, etc.

    Aquí debes decidir si pones que Madrid es de España o de Europa, pero no puede mezclar las dos así. Leisure por si sola es tiempo libre (funciona como especie de adjetivo) así que debes combinarla con un sustantivo. Amusements es un adjetivo que en inglés no tiene ni número ni género. After hours funciona como adjetivo y debe preceder al sustantivo al que modifica.
    ...the offer is open for all kind of public, both for children and adults...

    Offer...oferta de qué? Hay que especificar o sino úsala como verbo. All kinds...mejor en plural.
    ...nightclubs on “Avenida de Brasil” and on “Plaza Santa Ana”, North Plaza Mall and especially the “Tour Bus”...

    No veo la necesidad de colocar esto entre comillas, pues son solo nombres de lugares que no requieren tratamiento especial. Lo del bus tour lo puedes poner en cursiva.


    A continuación algunas sugerencias sin cambiar mucho tu escrito:

    Madrid is one of the most exciting cities in Europe and it offers a wide variety of places to visit such as amusement parks, museums, cinemas, shopping centers, bars, after hours places, restaurants, zoos, etc.

    In general, places are open for all kinds of public—children and adults— and the prices are reasonable. This is because Madrid has been investing heavily in entertainment and leisure infrastructure in the last ten years, and anyone that visits us will not get bored at all.

    I would like to highlight several important places to go when visiting Madrid: Warner Bross Park, Prado Museum, Retiro Park, Kinepolis Cinema, the nightclubs on Avenida de Brasil and Plaza Santa Ana, North Plaza Mall and especially the Bus Tour that show tourists the most interesting places of Madrid.

    In conclusion, visitors seeking a good time in Madrid will surely find it because Madrid is a great city with fantastic weather, interesting places, and most of all nice people. It is definitely a city where you won’t get bored. Madrid is waiting for you!

    Espero que estés saliendo bien y que vayas puliendo tu estilo...

    Me cuentas
    Last edited by Cotty; 02-02-2011 at 08:47 PM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Xóchitl L.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition that I need to revise.

    Hola Cotty:


    Antes que todo, me da gusto saludarte pues hace días que no te "veía".

    Te quedaron super las correcciones que le hiciste a la composición; el único (casi imperceptible) error es la falta de la s al final de show.

    ... and especially the Bus Tour that show tourists the most interesting places of Madrid.



    Saludos ... Xóchitl

    Por cierto, no me has pasado el enlace de la página Web de Paul. Cuando tengas una oportunidad me lo envías a mi correo electrónico, por favor. Gracias de antemano.
    Last edited by Xóchitl L.; 02-03-2011 at 02:21 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Cotty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition that I need to revise.

    Hola Xóchi:

    El gusto es mío

    ... el único (casi imperceptible) error es la falta de la s al final de show.

    ... and especially the Bus Tour that show tourists the most interesting places of Madrid.


    Tu correcciones son siempre acertadas y tienes el ojo clínico. Te comento que quité la s y se la puse otra vez, la quite por segunda vez y la volví a poner...jaja...Christina tiene which shows y eso me pareció muy bien, pero en la construcción de foros shows no me terminaba de cuadrar...no sé...me pareció que el that me pedía subjuntivo que como sabes en 3ra. persona pierde la s. En conclusión la quité. No me gusta el indicativo para el sujeto bus tour, me parece un poco impersonal. Tengo que volverlo a analizar, pero probablemente tengas razón...cuatro ojos ven más que dos.


    El enlace de la página de Paul está en la firma de sus participaciones y en su perfil.

    Muchos saludos...nos estamos viéndo...
    Last edited by Cotty; 02-03-2011 at 05:29 PM.

  6. #6
    Registered User foros's Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition that I need to revise.

    Muchas gracias por las correcciones.

    Os lo agradezco de veras.

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