Project Management Proverbs

Enjoy!!!





Project Management Proverbs

1. If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
2. Fast - cheap - good - you can have any two.
3. There are no good project managers - only lucky ones.
4. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
5. Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
6. You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it.
7. At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
8. The more desperate the situation the more optimistic the situatee.
9. A problem shared is a buck passed.
10. Overtime is a figment of the naïve project manager's imagination.
11. Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.
12. What you don't know hurts you
13. There's never enough time to do it right first time but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.
14. The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten.
15. I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
16. A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
17. If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven't understood the plan.
18. The more you plan the luckier you get.
19. A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.
20. Everyone asks for a strong project manger - when they get them they don't want them.
21. Metrics are learned men's excuses.
22. Some project finish on time in spite of project management best practices.
23. A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
24. Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be.
25. Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
26. If you're 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you're a project manager.
27. No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement
28. Yours won't be the first to.
29. Activity is not achievement.
30. Managing IT people is like herding cats.
31. If you don't know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.
32. If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!
33. The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.
34. The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
35. The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.
36. Good control reveals problems early - which only means you'll have longer to worry about them.

Very good, my friend...I had a good time reading these and I want to make just one observation...;)


Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be. UNLESS YOU ARE TAKING A VACATION...:D

jaja Thanks mvictoria!!! That was great

I will never be able to become a PM. Sounds a little bit stressing... ;)

Jajajajaajaja!!! That is sooo true!!

Just a little bit...

jejeje


FAB

Hi,
I really enjoyed to read these lines too. I'm not a Project Manager, and these aren't proverbs, but something I wrote some years ago before I become a translator. I would like to share it with you just for fun... :)
Maybe they may need a proofreading, but when I built these verses, I was very "fresh" in the field :p The Spanish translation was made by a friend who I had the chance to meet him one day.

Os Doze (12) Mandamentos de um Tradutor

1. Línguas traduzirás
2. E, por vezes, interpretarás.
3. Na tua profissão, dependente ou independente,
4. Sigilo guardarás do teu cliente.
5. O dicionário, bem utilizá-lo saberás
6. E a palavra certa acharás.
7. Não cometerás infidelidade…
8. Nunca! Na tua área ou especialidade!
9. Não cobrarás um valor desigual ou diferente,
10. A não ser que a encomenda seja urgente.
11. Traduzirás o sentido sem qualquer barbaridade
12. Assim, traidor nunca e, tradutor com toda a sua seriedade!

The Twelve (12) Commandments of a Translator

1. From a language you shall give a translation,
2. And, sometimes you will give an interpretation.
3. In your dependent or independent career,
4. To your client you shall be sincere.
5. The dictionary, you shall know how to use it properly
6. And pick up the word correctly.
7. You shall not be a cheater…
8. In your field or expertise area! Never!
9. You shall not charge an unequal or a different rate,
10. Unless your client’s order seems “desperate”.
11. You shall translate the meaning with no barbarity
12. Thus, never a traitor but a translator with his dignity!

Les Douze (12) Commandements d'un Traducteur

1. Des langues tu traduiras
2. Et, parfois tu feras de l'interprétariat
3. Dans ton métier, dépendant ou indépendant,
4. Tu seras tenu au secret professionnel envers ton client.
5. Le dictionnaire, tu sauras bien l'utiliser
6. Et le mot correct tu vas trouver.
7. Tu ne feras des infidélités…
8. Jamais ! Dans tes domaines d'expertise ou de spécialité !
9. Tu n'accorderas pas une somme inégale ou différente,
10. À moins que la commande soit urgente.
11. Tu traduiras le sens sans aucune barbarie
12. Donc, tu ne seras jamais un traître mais un traducteur gagnant honnêtement sa vie !


Los doce (12) mandamientos de un Traductor

1.- Los idiomas tú traducirás
2.- Y, a veces, una interpretación harás
3.- En tu oficio, dependiente o independiente
4.- Para con tu cliente, el secreto profesional guardarás
5.- Al diccionario el correcto uso le darás
6.- Y la palabra exacta encontrarás
7.- No cometerás infidelidades...
8.- ¡Jamás! Ni en tu área ni en tu especialidad
9.- No cobrarás un valor desigual o diferente
10.- Salvo que el pedido de tu cliente sea urgente
11.- Traducirás el contexto sin ningún desatino
12.- Y por ende, ¡nunca por traidor ser tomado!, ¡empero un traductor honrado y respetado!

Very funny guys!! and very true sometimes! :)