Another Irish joke

An Irish Pub Joke...

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. Each orders a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land-- one, two, three-- in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another... the Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, grabs the fly between his fingers and shakes him as hard as he can, shouting 'Spit it out, ya bloody bastard! Spit it out!'

hahahahahahahhahahaahhaha veeryy good!!!!!!!!

glad you like it, pal!
;-)

(shall we have a pint or two to celebrate? haha)

hahahahahah!

Es la primera vez que me rio con un chiste en ingles jaja lo lograste laura!!!

jajajajaja buenísimo Laura...superbueno.:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ezequiel

hahahahahah!

Es la primera vez que me rio con un chiste en ingles jaja lo lograste laura!!!

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a ver si éste te hace gracia...

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and knelt.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?":D

haha It was funny, but not as much as the first one :P

I really like written irish accent

acá va otro!

Do you fancy a double?

Neil was in a pub, extremely drunk. The barman, Simon, noticed this, and when Neil asked for another whisky, the barman politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink.
Neil leaves. He walks out of the pub and in again at the side door and asks Simon for a double whisky. A little frustrated, Simon repeats the answer he had said earlier.
Neil, again leaves and enters through a further side door, walks up to the barman and asks for a Scotch. Simon is now quite annoyed, and tells Neil he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave the pub.

Once more, Neil leaves. Again he comes in, this time through the back door. Neil walks up to the barman and before he can say a word, Simon explodes at him, 'I told you already, you are way too drunk, you can not have another whisky. Get out of my bar!'
Disgruntled, Neil glares at Simon and asks, 'Man, how many bars do you work at?'

y una frase de Dylan Thomas, q me encantó: "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."

hasta la próxima!

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Muy bueno el ultimo jaja. It made me laugh too!!!

Now I'm eager for more jokes!!!


La frase es MUY cierta... creo que todos lo comprobamos alguna vez =P

Jajajajaja Laura. Me gustan los chistes irlandés!

Otro:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. As she pays for her ticket, the bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You shouldn't take that. You tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!

OMG I can't stop laughing hahahaha!! Great Joke vicente, congrats, you are winning this competition!!! You'll have to work harder Laura!!

hahahaha!!! this one is sooooooo good!!!:)

Hola!, hasta ahora los leo y están buenísimos los dos......

Me encanta como "escribes" el acento irish....

Saludos,

Carmen
Guatemala

Ezequiel, my dear, I don't care to win any competition... just to give you a smile!

________________



Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan's flat in Dungarvan when Sean O'Toole loses €700 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael Lennon looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Sean's wife. Who will it be?'
They draw straws.
Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse.' Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.' announces Cavan.
He goes over to O'Toole's house and knocks on the door.
Brenda O'Toole answers and asks what he wants. Cavan declares: 'Your husband just lost €700 and is afraid to come home.'
'Tell him to drop dead!' snarls Brenda.' I'll go tell him.' says Cavan.

:D :D :D Laura!! Another good one. I love it.


Let's keep Ezequiel amused:

Patrick, an Irish lad comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "What's the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your dear sweet mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The lad is puzzled, but goes ahead and asks his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Oh, Dear Patrick, Saints preserve us!! For a million pounds! Don't tell a soul, but yes, I would," she replies.

He then goes to his sister's room. "Colleen, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The lad returns to his father and says: "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

vicente

hahahah, good ones guys!

still one more!!!

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.
"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.
"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

que chiste!

They are very good, Laura! Where did you get them from, I wonder...:rolleyes: