Murdering the English language

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04-22-2008
CarlosRoberto

Murdering the English language

Hola a todos y todas:

Quiero compartir con ustedes varias perlas del idioma inglés que una amiga mía acaba de enviarme y que me hicieron soltar varias gustosas carcajadas. Como decimos por acá, en todos lados se cuecen habas.

Saludos

Dear Abby: Having just read your column about how some people murder the English language, here are some examples taken from actual letters received by the local welfare department in applications for support:
1.“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper”
2.“Mrs Jones has not had any clothes for a year and half and has been visited regularly by the clergy”
3.“ I am glad to report that my husband who is missing, is dead”
4.“I am very annoyed to find that your brand my son illeterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was borne”
5.“Please find out for certain if my husband is dead? The man I am living with can’t eat or do anything until he knows”
6.“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see”
7.“My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since”
8.“Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life”
9.“You have changed my little boy to a girl, will this make a difference?”
10.“I have no children as yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night”
11. “I want money quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks, and he doesn’t do me any good”

LILIAN ARMET (Age 80)
Far Rockaway, N.Y.
04-22-2008
MariaLaura

Jaja that was great! thank you for sharing!
04-23-2008
SandraT

Buenísimos CarlosRoberto. Muy simpáticos. Aquí, supongo que suceda en casi todos los países, se pueden leer "letreros" (posters, adds,etc) muy simpáticos en realidad.
Las embarazadas reciben una dieta especial de carne de res y es común que los carniceros (que son los que trabajan en la carnicería: donde se vende el pollo, la carne, el pescado, etc) coloquen un letrero que diga:

Hay carne de embarazada....jejeje....o esta
Hay leche de niños....
¿les apetece? ;)
04-23-2008
exxcéntrica

Un hilo muy divertido, Carlos.

Muy divertido también lo de tu carne de embarazadas...Sandra, jeje, genial.
04-23-2008
vicente

:D :D :D Grácias Carlos!
04-23-2008
vicente

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandraT

Buenísimos CarlosRoberto. Muy simpáticos. Aquí, supongo que suceda en casi todos los países, se pueden leer "letreros" (posters, adds,etc) muy simpáticos en realidad.
Las embarazadas reciben una dieta especial de carne de res y es común que los carniceros (que son los que trabajan en la carnicería: donde se vende el pollo, la carne, el pescado, etc) coloquen un letrero que diga:

Hay carne de embarazada....jejeje....o esta
Hay leche de niños....
¿les apetece? ;)

Bueno Sandra...it took me a minute to get it but I did.:) The funny thing is that you would expect such writings to be written by people who are learning the language, not native speakers. Yo recuerdo cuando empezé a estudiar el español me avisaron que si quisiera ordenar la plata huevos rancheros (un requísimo plato Mexicano) que no diga huevos de los rancheros!:D

Por favor, corríjan los erróres!:)
04-23-2008
diegonel

exx

A Ver Si Contestandolo Puedo Ponerlo En El Hilo Para Todos.

Decime Si Funcionó.
Saludos.
04-23-2008
mem286

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicente

Yo recuerdo cuando empezé a estudiar el español me avisaron que si quisiera ordenar el plato huevos rancheros (un requísimo plato Mexicano) que no diga huevos de los rancheros!:D

Por favor, corrijan los errores!:)

:D :D Unbelievable!!!! Thanks CarlosRoberto!
Vicente... you really made me laugh!!!
04-23-2008
exxcéntrica

Quote:

Originally Posted by diegonel

A Ver Si Contestandolo Puedo Ponerlo En El Hilo Para Todos.

Decime Si Funcionó.
Saludos.

Diego, no entiendo lo que has querido decir...:o
04-23-2008
diegonel

exx

exx,
Vos querias que yo pusiera este hilo para compartirlo con los demás, verdad? O quizá yo no entendi lo que me preguntabas. Lo que yo hice es reponder tu mensaje para que ese hilo quedara en el foro y todos tuvieran acceso a el. ¿ Era eso, o te mal interpreté? Si es así, sorry.

Avisame cualquier cosa! Saludos :)
04-23-2008
exxcéntrica

Hola Diego, ya veo. No, simplemente era llamar la atención sobre el hilo tan divertido. ;)

Es que no son horas, por aquí son más de la una....:o

Bueno, BUENAS NOCHES!!:)
05-02-2008
kellymellars

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlosRoberto

Hola a todos y todas:

Quiero compartir con ustedes varias perlas del idioma inglés que una amiga mía acaba de enviarme y que me hicieron soltar varias gustosas carcajadas. Como decimos por acá, en todos lados se cuecen habas.

Saludos

Dear Abby: Having just read your column about how some people murder the English language, here are some examples taken from actual letters received by the local welfare department in applications for support:
1.“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper”
2.“Mrs Jones has not had any clothes for a year and half and has been visited regularly by the clergy”
3.“ I am glad to report that my husband who is missing, is dead”
4.“I am very annoyed to find that your brand my son illeterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was borne”
5.“Please find out for certain if my husband is dead? The man I am living with can’t eat or do anything until he knows”
6.“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see”
7.“My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since”
8.“Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life”
9.“You have changed my little boy to a girl, will this make a difference?”
10.“I have no children as yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night”
11. “I want money quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks, and he doesn’t do me any good”

LILIAN ARMET (Age 80)
Far Rockaway, N.Y.

That's hilarious Carlos Roberto. I have read some insurance claims that are just as funny. I'll try to find them and post them
10-16-2008
Fabianea

Re: Murdering the English language

Very funny post indeed.

Thanks for sharing,

FAB
10-19-2008
Flaco

Re: Murdering the English language

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicente

Bueno Sandra...it took me a minute to get it but I did.:) The funny thing is that you would expect such writings to be written by people who are learning the language, not native speakers. Yo recuerdo cuando empezé a estudiar el español me avisaron que si quisiera ordenar la plata huevos rancheros (un requísimo plato Mexicano) que no diga huevos de los rancheros!:D

Por favor, corríjan los erróres!:)

LOL! I embarassed a young waitress in Colorado one time by asking her to explain the difference between Bull fries and Cowboy fries.
03-11-2009
aleCcowaN

Re: Murdering the English language

Hilarious! About #11, my granny would have said "¿Médicos? ¡Médicos eran los de antes!".

People who like this sort of things will find this the sort of thing they like.

But nobody got so embarrassed as that young exchange student who, while hearing everybody saying "me encanta la ternera" and "prefiero la pavita", dared to say "me gusta la carne de..." expressing his fondness for chicken, by choosing the wrong gender!