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Thread: Cheesy poetry

 
  1. #1
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    Default Cheesy poetry

    Hi,

    I have a Spanish-speaking girlfriend and, as cheesy as I am, tried to write a little text about her for Valentine's Day

    I would be very grateful if you could help me with the phrasing and also please tell me if it sounds terrible.

    This is what I've written:

    "A veces necesitas ayuda para abrir los ojos. Y después no puedes evitar preguntarte cómo has podido estar tan ciego toda tu vida. No sabía cuánto te extrañaba, hasta que entraste en mi vida y me hiciste ver."

    Any criticisim or suggestions would really help me. Thank you

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Cheesy poetry

    Quote Originally Posted by LeRo2409 View Post
    Hi,

    I have a Spanish-speaking girlfriend and, as cheesy as I am, tried to write a little text about her for Valentine's Day

    I would be very grateful if you could help me with the phrasing and also please tell me if it sounds terrible.

    This is what I've written:

    "A veces necesitas ayuda para abrir los ojos. Y después no puedes evitar preguntarte cómo has podido estar tan ciego toda tu vida. No sabía cuánto te extrañaba, hasta que entraste en mi vida y me hiciste ver."

    Any criticisim or suggestions would really help me. Thank you
    Hi,
    I would change a bit the last sentence with:
    No sabía cuánto te extrañaba, hasta que apareciste en mi vida y me hiciste ver.

    Good luck with this!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Cheesy poetry

    A veces, uno necesita ayuda para abrir los ojos, y preguntarse cómo pudo vivir en la oscuridad tanto tiempo. No sabía cuánto te extrañaba, hasta que apareciste en mi vida y me hiciste ver.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Cheesy poetry

    Muchas gracias por ayudarme !

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Cheesy poetry

    De nada! Let us know how it went!

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