Advice from doc...too good not to share - English Spanish Translator Org: Translation Forum � Translators Forums

SandraT · 08-28-2008, 01:00 PM

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that 's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Ezequiel · 08-28-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandraT

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

hahahahahahahhahhaaahahahahhahahaha I love that Doc!!! He sounds like The Simpsons's Nick Riviera (hope someone knows him)

hahaha that was sooo funny! thanks a lot Sandra, you made my day =P

mem286 · 08-28-2008, 05:27 PM

hahaha... These are.... mmmmm... LOGICAL CONCLUSIONS!!! I love this doc... I just wish he was real and everything he says was trueeeee!!!

Thanks for sharing SandraT!!

vicente · 08-30-2008, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mem286

hahaha... These are.... mmmmm... LOGICAL CONCLUSIONS!!! I love this doc... I just wish he was real and everything he says was trueeeee!!!

Thanks for sharing SandraT!!

Claro Mer! You don't need a doctor to know such things!

Thanks Sandra!

mem286 · 08-30-2008, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicente

Claro Mer! You don't need a doctor to know such things!

Thanks Sandra!

Of course you don't my dear friend

Veronica · 08-31-2008, 03:18 PM

Hehehehehe!! really funny stuff, it's true that everything we eat comes from vegetables in the end!!

mvictoria · 09-01-2008, 10:27 AM

That was hilarious!!! where is this doctor, I want to meet him!

vicente · 09-01-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvictoria

That was hilarious!!! where is this doctor, I want to meet him!

HaHaHa! This reminds me my mother. All her life she has told us about the doctor who told her to drink a beer or two a day for her health when she was in her 20s and she still follows his advice...and drinks her beer...at age 94!!! She loved that doctor!

SandraT · 09-02-2008, 07:38 AM

Wow, Vicente! Too bad I don't like beer but I am sure this doc would have adviced to drink red wine instead!!! I want to get to 94 for sure!

08-28-2008, 01:00 PM	#1
SandraT Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Havana,Cuba Posts: 1,200 Rep Power: 1686	Advice from doc...too good not to share Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that 's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. __________________ _____________________________ [Have a nice day!!! ♥ Sandra T ♥

08-28-2008, 05:27 PM	#3
mem286 Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Santa Fe, Argentina Posts: 1,277 Rep Power: 1530	Re: Advice from doc...too good not to share hahaha... These are.... mmmmm... LOGICAL CONCLUSIONS!!! I love this doc... I just wish he was real and everything he says was trueeeee!!! Thanks for sharing SandraT!! __________________ ================= ====-mem286-====

08-31-2008, 03:18 PM	#6
Veronica Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Argentina Posts: 811 Rep Power: 297	Re: Advice from doc...too good not to share Hehehehehe!! really funny stuff, it's true that everything we eat comes from vegetables in the end!! __________________ mmm...papas fritas.

09-01-2008, 10:27 AM	#7
mvictoria Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 572 Rep Power: 223	Re: Advice from doc...too good not to share That was hilarious!!! where is this doctor, I want to meet him!

09-02-2008, 07:38 AM	#9
SandraT Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Havana,Cuba Posts: 1,200 Rep Power: 1686	Re: Advice from doc...too good not to share Wow, Vicente! Too bad I don't like beer but I am sure this doc would have adviced to drink red wine instead!!! I want to get to 94 for sure! __________________ _____________________________ [Have a nice day!!! ♥ Sandra T ♥

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