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Thread: LOST joke

 
  1. #1
    Senior Member mvictoria's Avatar
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    Talking LOST joke

    This is for all you LOST fans out there! Enjoy :-)

    How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich, by the Losties

    Jack
    1. Gather ingredients
    2. Point gun at ingredients and shout "HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?"
    3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
    4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly

    Kate
    1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
    2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
    3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
    4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
    5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

    Sawyer
    1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering "I don't need no sandwich"
    2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
    3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
    4. When no one's looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite

    Locke
    1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
    2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
    3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
    4. Run around the room and grab everyone's knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time

    Hurley
    1. Make sandwich
    2. Eat sandwich
    3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum

    Sayid
    1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
    2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
    3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
    4. Act all tough-like

    Desmond
    1. Eat sandwich
    2. Call the sandwich "brother"
    3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
    4. Spread jelly on the other slice
    5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
    6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly

    Ben
    1. Steal someone else's sandwich
    2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
    3. Say you'll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
    4. Stare at them all creepy-like

    Libby
    1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
    2. Just as you start making it, get shot

    Danielle
    1. Apply peanut butter
    2. Disappear for eight months
    3. Apply jelly
    4. Disappear for eight months
    5. Eat sandwich

    Claire
    1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter

    Darlton
    1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
    2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it's a baloney sandwich
    3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
    4. Buy a few yachts

  2. #2
    Ali
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    hahahahaha...I loved Locke's part.

  3. #3
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    My God...this is perfect.

  4. #4
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    Hahahah, very good one.

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    Yes! I loved Desmond's. See ya in another life, brotha.

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