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Thread: Translating humour, the surviving joke

 
  1. #11
    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Chiste del día! Joke of the day! (A bit darker than usual)

    Mom! mom! help I think the neighbors dog is dead! I was playing with him and, and, I don't know!. Yelled the child from the backyard.
    Ok, Honey, calm down... first let's make sure he's dead and not sleeping, go check.
    A blunt hit to the ground is heard then a grudge and a couple more. The kid comes back panting and says: "Ok, pretty sure he's dead, now what?"
    Mamá mamá! Ayuda! Creo que el perro del vecino esta muerto, estaba jugando y, y, no se!. Gritó el nene desde el patio
    Bueno mi cielo, calma... primero, asegurate que este muerto y no durmiendo, anda y fijate.
    Se escucha un golpe seco y luego un quejido, luego unos cuantos más. El niño vuelve agitado y dice: "Bueno, ahora seguro está muerto, ¿Que hacemos?"
    Tomorrow will be a little lighter. I promise.
    _Eidji

  2. #12
    Contributing User SophieC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Un clásico

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because Chuck Norris was chasing her


    Por qué la gallina cruzó la calle?
    Por que Chuck Norris la perseguía.

  3. #13
    Moderator AnabellaG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie.C View Post
    Un clásico

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because Chuck Norris was chasing her


    Por qué la gallina cruzó la calle?
    Por que Chuck Norris la perseguía.
    As Bill Murray said: I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

  4. #14
    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    "Llamen a la pollicia!! " Gritó el Gallo.
    Análogamente, en la granja, better said, "in McCluckets FARM:
    "Called the Pigs!" Yelled the Rooster
    Me encantó la frase de Bill M.
    Sueño con un mundo mejor, donde no se cuestionan los motivos de las gallinas cruzando la calle
    Que buena onda sumando una lista de chistes bilingües, que suman a pequeños "rompehielos" "ice-breakers", entre otras utilidades.
    _Eidji

  5. #15
    Moderator AnabellaG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie.C View Post
    Un clásico

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because Chuck Norris was chasing her


    Por qué la gallina cruzó la calle?
    Por que Chuck Norris la perseguía.
    Siguiendo con esta linea..


    Why did the gum cross the road?
    Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

    ¿Por qué el chicle cruzó la calle?
    Porque estaba pegado al pie de la gallina

  6. #16
    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Joke of the day! Chiste del día!

    Es un poco más largo hoy. It's a little bit longer today.

    "I here to get a divorce from my husband, it's been 20 years, I can't take it anymore"
    "Ok, Ok calm down, said the lawyer, what happened?, did you had heated discussions?, did he cheat on you?, is he a slob?"
    "No, not at all, he works hard in the farm, he never cheated, and we don't argue about anything, that is why."
    "That is very strange... How come you don't argue?"

    "You see, back when we got married, we came to out newly wed farmhouse riding a carriage that had his best horse 'Hero' up front, he loved that horse, they had spent their entire childhood together, one could say he loved that horse more than me.
    So, we are making our way back and half way there HERO stops and wont budge, so my husband said "ONE".

    After some insistence the horse started going again, then a few more steps he abruptly stopped, and the whole carriage jiggled,
    So my husband walk to the horse looked it straight to his eyes and said "TWO".

    Right before arriving to the farmhouse the horse stops and sits on the ground, making the carriage, the luggage and us!, fall over. My husband then went for his shotgun, aimed at the head of HERO, said "THREE!" and shot!"
    WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU LOVED THAT HORSE, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT! IT UNBELIE... and he slowly turned, looked me in the eyes and said "ONE" ...
    "Vine a pedir el divorcio de mi marido, ya pasaron 20 años y no aguanto más!"
    "Esta bien, esta bien, calmesé, ¿Qué sucedió? ¿Discutían fuertemente? ¿La engañaba con otra? ¿es un vago que no ayuda?
    "No no, nada de eso, es muy trabajador en la granja, nunca me engaño, y no discutimos de nada, por eso me quiero divorciar."
    "Pero eso es muy raro! ¿Cómo es que no discuten?"

    "Verá cuando nos casamos, volvíamos a la casa en el campo al lado de la granja en una carreta tirada por el caballo preferido de mi marido 'HEROE' el amaba ese caballo pasaron toda su infancia juntos, hasta se podría decir que amaba más a ese caballo que a mi.

    Entonces a la mitad del camino, HEROE se detiene y no se mueve, mi marido se baja dice "UNO",
    luego de unos minutos de insistir, comienza a caminar de nuevo.
    Pero unos pasos más y se detiene haciendo que toda la carreta tiemble,
    mi esposo se baja, mira a los ojos del caballo y le dice "DOS"
    Estamos llegando a la casa y el corcel directamente se detiene y se sienta, haciendo que la carreta, el equipaje y nosotros nos caigamos.
    Mi marido agarra su escopeta, le apunta a la cabeza de HEROE y dice "TRES!" y dispara!
    PERO QUE ESTAS HACIENDO!, VOS AMABAS A ESE CABALLO, COMO SE TE OCURRE, ESTO ES INCREIB...lentamente se da vuelta me mira a los ojos y dice "UNO"...
    _Eidji

  7. #17
    Moderator AnabellaG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Quote Originally Posted by eidjit View Post
    Joke of the day! Chiste del día!

    Es un poco más largo hoy. It's a little bit longer today.
    Not funny at all ¬¬

    4576490-1036982953-6ad88.jpg

  8. #18
    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Comenzando la semana!

    My Dad was an Army engineer who specialised in clearing minefields. He always wanted me to follow in his footsteps

    Mi Papá fue un ingeniero en el ejercito, se especializaba en limpiar campos minados. Siempre insistía que siga sus pasos.
    _Eidji

  9. #19
    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke

    Let's continue ! Tuesday joke!

    "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except when you're at a funeral. -Demetri Martin
    "Lo siento" y "Disculpame" significan lo mismo, excepto cuando estas en un funeral. -Demetri Martin
    TWO for THE PRICE OF one!!

    I need to go for a year to work overseas, could you please take good care of my grand-mother and my cat while I'm away? - Said to a friend.
    Yes, sure.
    Anything that happens, ANYTHING! please let me know they are very important to me and since I can't take them with me I need to make sure..
    Don't worry about it! I'll send you emails and keep you updated.

    So about a month goes by and the first email arrives:
    "Hello, hope you are doing ok, little news, your grandmother is OK, but your Cat is dead, sorry"

    Immediately the friend answers "WHAT! HOW COULD YOU BE SO BLUNT! THAT IS NO SMALL NEWS, If you have bad news like that go slowly, in different emails, like start with one saying "Your CAT climbed a tree" then in ANOTHER EMAIL "your cat came down" and then ANOTHER ONE "Sorry to inform but your cat, when getting to the street was stepped on by a truck" and so on, not so RAW "your cat is dead", GOSH !!

    The friend replies, "Sorry didn't know about the number of emails and how to give you the news, by the way, your grandmother climbed a tree"
    Me tengo que ir trabajar afuera, ¿podrías cuidar bien de mi abuela y mi gato mientras no estoy? le dije a mi amigo.
    Si, porsupuesto.
    Si pasa algo, CUALQUIER COSA, por favor avisame, CUALQUIER COSA, es muy importante, justo me voy a trabajar lejos y no los puedo llevar y estoy preocupado.
    No te preocupes!, te voy a ir mandando mensajes y manteniendote al tanto.

    Pasa un mes y llega el primer mensaje:
    "Hola!, espero que el trabajo ande bien, un poco de noticias, tu abuela esta bien, pero tu gato se murió, disculpas"

    Inmediatamente llega la respuesta del amigo: COMO!! COMO PODES SER TAN SECO!! NO SON UN POCO DE NOTICIAS! son ENORMES y MALAS noticias!
    SI TENES MALAS NOTICIAS! manda de a poco, como "Tu gato se subió a un árbol" luego mandas OTRO mensaje, "Tu gato ya bajó" Luego mandas otro MAS separado, "Lamento informarte que luego de bajar pasó un auto y piso a tu gato, ahora falleció" y así, no tan crudo, tan directo, POR FAVOR!

    El amigo responde:
    "Disculpa, no sabía lo de los mensajes y el espaciado y todo eso. Por cierto.. Tu abuela se subió a un árbol"
    Disculpas a todos los que son sensibles con la muerte de mascotas y parientes.
    _Eidji

  10. #20
    Contributing User SophieC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating humour, the surviving joke



    Kate:Would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: No, of course not. Kate: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

    Kate: ¿Me castigaría por algo que no he hecho? Profesor:Claro que no. Kate: Bien, porque no hice los deberes

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