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Thread: Did You Ever Wonder

 
  1. #1
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    Default Did You Ever Wonder

    Some of these are pretty bad but maybe useful in practicing English.


    > If you have *** with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?


    > Can you cry under water?


    > How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


    > Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?


    > Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


    > Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


    > What disease did cured ham actually have?


    > How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


    > Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


    > If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


    > Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


    > Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


    > Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway..


    > Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


    > Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


    > If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


    > If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


    > Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


    > If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


    > If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


    > If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


    > Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


    > Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


    > Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


    > Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


    > Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


    > Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


    > Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


    > Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


    > Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


    > If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


    > Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?


    > Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?


    > Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?


    > How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?


    > In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?


    > How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
    Last edited by vicente; 08-17-2016 at 08:40 PM.
    vicente

  2. #2
    Senior Member matiasc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did You Ever Wonder

    Hahahah there a lot of good ones...

    Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


    Thats actually a good question...
    Last edited by matiasc; 08-25-2016 at 04:30 PM.
    /MatiasC
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Did You Ever Wonder

    "How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?"

    It's dangerous!

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    Default Re: Did You Ever Wonder

    "Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?"

    haha, that's a good question!! Must be the bad breath?

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    Moderator eidjit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did You Ever Wonder

    Looking for a pizza thread I found this Gem. Thank's a LOT, really, a LOT Vicente.

    This collection of "Shower Thoughts" is sublime.

    I read one on another forum, that said:

    Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates
    backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
    _Eidji

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Did You Ever Wonder

    That one is cool eidjit

    I wonder who spends their time dreaming up these things
    vicente

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