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Thread: Stages of life

 
  1. #1
    Moderator SandraT's Avatar
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    Default Stages of life

    Not a joke but yet so good and true!!
    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.
    SUCCESS:
    At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
    At age 35 success is . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

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    Moderator SandraT's Avatar
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    Default More of it...

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone

  3. #3
    Senior Member Veronica's Avatar
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    Default

    These are excellent!!
    The Santa Claus is so true!! hahahaha

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    Senior Member Hebe's Avatar
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    Default

    Hi, here are some other Facts of Life ... Enjoy them

    Ø Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
    Ø I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
    Ø If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
    Ø Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
    Ø Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
    Ø I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
    Ø Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
    Ø We cannot change the direction of the wind ... but we can adjust our sails.
    Ø Some days are a total waste of makeup.
    Ø Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk by you again?
    Ø If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.
    Ø If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
    Ø Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
    Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    Ø Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    Ø If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
    Ø My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    Ø Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
    Ø It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    Ø For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
    Ø If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
    Ø Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
    Ø A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
    Ø Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
    Ø A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
    Ø Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
    Ø Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
    Ø Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
    Ø There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    Ø Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
    Ø By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
    Ø Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
    Ø Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself


    Truly, my dear young friends, you are a chosen generation. I hope you will never forget it.
    Gordon B. Hinckley

  5. #5
    Moderator SandraT's Avatar
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    Default

    good ones too!!!

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    Moderator reminder's Avatar
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    Smile Jokes

    And here's something very interesting about everyday life (in Spanish).

    Vivir en el 2007 implica que ....

    1. Accidentalmente tecleás tu password en el microondas.

    2. No has jugado solitario con cartas verdaderas en años.

    3. Tenés una lista de 15 números telefónicos para ubicar a tu familia de sólo 3 miembros

    4. Le enviás un email a la persona que se sienta junto a vos.

    5. La razón que tenés para no estar en contacto con tu familia es que ellos no tienen correo electrónico.

    6. Te vas a casa después de un largo día de trabajo y cuando suena el teléfono contestás con el nombre de tu empresa.

    7. Cuando hacés llamadas telefónicas de tu casa marcás el "10" o el "9" para que te dé línea.

    8. Cada comercial de la televisión tiene su página de Internet en la parte de abajo.

    10. Salir de tu casa sin celular, el cual no has tenido los primeros 20, 30 o hasta 60 años de tu vida, te hace entrar en pánico y regresás por él.

    11. Te levantás en la mañana y te conectás antes de tomar tu café.

    12. Estás mirando alrededor para que nadie te vea que estás sonriendo enfrente de tu PC.

    13. Estás leyendo esto y te estas riendo.


    14. Peor que eso, ya sabés perfectamente a quién le vas a enviar esto por correo.

    15. Estás tan concentrado leyendo que no te fijaste que faltó el número 9 en esta lista.

    16. Y ahora regresaste para ver efectivamente que no está el número 9.

    17. Y ahora te estás riendo de vos mismo.

    >>>Tomáte un minuto y replanteá tu vida



  7. #7
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    "When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there."
    Hilaaaaarious. I'm pretty sure this happened a few weeks ago at a club...

  8. #8
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    Default so so true...

    thank you guys for sharing!

  9. #9
    Ali
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    hahaha...very good Carla!!!!

  10. #10
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    ahahaah, carla, you crack me up.

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