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Thread: Help !

 
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    Default Help !

    I am not a native speaker of English, so I am expecting some help from some kind people. The following is a piece of my translation work, and I hope there will be someone who is a native English speaker and is kindly enough to tell me something that I wish to know --- is the English that I put out a comprehensive one from a native English speaker’s point of view? If it is not , then how bad a stuff it is

    Many thanks!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Scenery” is a sketching of outdoor scene done by *** in Germany. For the scene that was selected at random, the artist held firmly its color theme of “blue-green”. With much voluntariness, the recitation which was given out by the using of different tones of the same color system presents a sense of elegancy belonging to impressionism. His perceptibility to the natural world can be traced in every tiny stroke in the drawing. Another thing that is stressed about *** is his inclination of giving much attention to spiritual similarity and artistic conception while working on a painting. The lump-shaped matters which are outlined by color and strokes, as well as the layout and spirit that are blended together harmoniously show the appeal of the artist to melt the sense of Chinese art into the artistic style of western world. Like a meaningful prose in short length, “brief and to the point” and “profound in meaning” are the characteristics of ***’s landscape paintings of small size.

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    Default Re: Help !

    The beginning is pretty bad, it really looks like it went through an automatic translator with no editing.

    By the middle to the end it gets somewhat better. Maybe someone else will be able to help you correct the mistakes.

    Otherwise, good luck!

    Regards,
    Henry A.

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    Default Re: Help !

    No conozco el idioma del arte. Tal vez, sería más fácil si tenía la original. No entiendo voluntariness ni recitation aquí, pero el resto no tiene muchos errores.


    “Scenery” is a sketch of an outdoor scene done by *** in Germany. This scene was selected at random. The artist maintained a color theme of “blue-green”, and this rendition was produced by freely using different shades similar to the central color. It presents an elegant version of impressionism. His perception of the natural world can be traced in every minute stroke. Something that should be stressed about *** is his inclination to give much attention to spiritual similarity and artistic concept while working on a painting. The amorphous areas outlined by color and strokes, as well as the layout and spirit that are blended together, harmoniously show the appeal of the artist in melting the sense of Chinese art into the artistic style of the western world. Like concise prose, “brief and to the point” and “profound in meaning” are the characteristics of ***’s smaller landscape paintings.

    In lugar de "sketch of an outdoor scene", puede usar "landscape". Eso depende. "Sketch" usualmente quiere decir un dibujo usando los lápices. "Landscape painting" casi tiene que ser una pintura al óleo o acuarela. Note "minute" aquí quiere decir muy pequeño. La pronunciación es diferente. Mai-nút, más o menos.
    Last edited by gernt; 03-16-2009 at 10:13 AM.

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    Default Re: Help !

    Mi esposa dice “querido, lo siento, pero no sabes nada”. Según mi esposa, un sketch es una idea, un bosquejo. No es completo. El artista si puede hacerlo usando los oleos. Si es completo, es un drawing o painting.
    Last edited by gernt; 03-16-2009 at 10:07 AM.

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    Default Re: Help !

    Thanks for all these information ! And if you are a native speaker of English, the information will surely help me much.

    I can only understand a little spanish, but from what you have said above......er......do you mean that your wife is a native speaker of English , and you are not?

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    Default Re: Help !

    Oops. I assumed your native language was Spanish. Now I understand why you did not post the original. It must not be in Spanish. No, the native language of both my wife and I is American English, but she knows much more about art than I do.

    OK. Back up. A sketch is an incomplete drawing (so says my wife, but I've seen "sketches" in museums). It can be done in oil paints but is usually done in pencil or charcoal or water color. I think you are speaking of a completed work of an outdoor scene (plein aire - we use the french term) done in oils. You would have to use landscape or painting or landscape painting to describe it.

    I did not understand your use of voluntariness nor recitation, but I guessed freedom and rendition. The word "minute" is normally used to describe fine detail. It is spelled the same way as a minute of time, but it is pronounced differently.
    Last edited by gernt; 03-18-2009 at 10:40 AM.

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    Default Re: Help !

    It is great! It is just what I want!! Thank you, thank you very much.


    The source language is Chinese. The feedback from you made me realize that there is really something that I did not render well, and I would like to give a display of them:


    For the scene that was selected at random......(means the artistic perception of the artist is very keen. Although it is a scene that was selected at random, he has successfully spotted its color theme. )


    With much voluntariness, the recitation......(means the artist did his work with much boldness. He did the thing that he though was right, although others might disagree. )


    Another thing that is stressed......(here, “Another thing” is stressed by his painting or his work! In Chinese, we really can say it like this! But in English, I guess the answer is “no”, from the feedback you have kindly provided. Maybe I can say “Another thing that the painting shows is ......”, but in this way a part of the meaning will be lost. I really don’t know how to do. Or maybe I can say “Another thing that impresses us about *** is ......”, it sounds better...but...I don’t know )


    ......layout and spirit that are blended together harmoniously...... (things that are blended together are “layout and spirit”.)


    ......a meaningful prose in short length......(in Chinese, we have prose of short length, prose of medium length and prose of long length, but I don’t know what the situation is in English.)



    To make a judgment from the above --- my translation is bad.

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    Default Re: Help !

    From what you have said, I might try:

    “Scenery” is a painting of an outdoor scene done by *** in Germany. The artist sensed a central color and charged ahead with a palette of cool colors. It presents an elegant version of impressionism. His perception of the natural world can be traced in every minute stroke. Bursting from this work is ***’s inclination to give a balanced union of spiritual similarity and artistic concept while working on a painting. The amorphous areas outlined by color and strokes, as well as the layout and spirit that are blended together, harmoniously show the appeal of the artist in melting the sense of Chinese art into the artistic style of the western world. Like concise prose, “brief and to the point” and “profound in meaning” are the characteristics of ***’s smaller landscape paintings.

    It's a bit afield of this forum, but you could e-mail me the Chinese original at gernt@hotmail.com. I do not speak Chinese, but my daughter-in-law is fluent in both languages.

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