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Thread: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

 
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    Default Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    I tried to write this poem in Spanish. Can someone please tell me if it makes sense or if I should change something? Thank you.
    Un día...
    Voy a sentir tus labios sobre los míos
    Un día...
    Me voy a sentir tus brazos que me sostenían con fuerza
    Un día...
    Me voy a sentir tus manos en mi piel
    Un dia...
    Vas a mirarme a los ojos y saber cuanto que te quiero, cuanto que te necesito
    Un día...
    Voy a experimentar lo que he vivido en mis sueños una y mil veces
    Un día...
    Me sentiré feliz, aunque sólo sea por un momento...
    Un dia.
    It's supposed to say, One day I will feel your lips on mine. One day I will feel your arms holding me tightly. One day I will feel your soft touch on my skin. One day you will look into my eyes and know how much I want you, how much I need you. One day I will expereince what I've lived in my dreams a thousand times. One day I will be happy, if only for a moment. One day.

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    Default Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Also I was wondering what is the difference between voy a sentir and sentiré?
    Do they both mean future tense of feeling something? How do you tell the difference between feeling something physically and something emotionally?
    I'm especially stuck with the line, one day you will look into my eyes and know how much I want you, how much I need you. Online translators contradict each other. Thank you for any help. It is much appreciated.

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    Forum User cuchito_cuchito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    I tried to write this poem in Spanish. Can someone please tell me if it makes sense or if I should change something? Thank you.
    Un día...
    Voy a sentir tus labios sobre los míos
    Un día...
    Me voy a sentir tus brazos que me sostenían con fuerza
    Un día...
    Me voy a sentir tus manos en mi piel
    Un dia...
    Vas a mirarme a los ojos y saber cuanto que te quiero, cuanto que te necesito
    Un día...
    Voy a experimentar lo que he vivido en mis sueños una y mil veces
    Un día...
    Me sentiré feliz, aunque sólo sea por un momento...
    Un dia.
    It's supposed to say, One day I will feel your lips on mine. One day I will feel your arms holding me tightly. One day I will feel your soft touch on my skin. One day you will look into my eyes and know how much I want you, how much I need you. One day I will expereince what I've lived in my dreams a thousand times. One day I will be happy, if only for a moment. One day.
    Un día...
    Sentiré tus labios sobre los míos
    Un día...
    Sentiré tus brazos que me sostienen con fuerza
    Un día...
    Sentiré tus manos en mi piel
    Un dia...
    Me mirarás en los ojos y sabrás cuánto te quiero, cuánto te necesito
    Un día...
    Experimentaré lo que he vivido en mis sueños una y mil veces
    Un día...
    Me sentiré feliz, aunque sólo sea por un momento...
    Un día.

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    Default Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Muchas, muchas gracias cuchito

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    Red face Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    I agree for the most part with the translation given above excepting the soft touch...yo diria algo como:
    un dia, sentire' las acaracias de los manos tuyos sobre mi piel...

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    Contributing User gise1984's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Actually, Banzer, that's not corrrect.... You don't say "Los manos tuyos", it's "Tus manos"... and int his case "en" or "sobre" doesn't make any difference...

    The way Cuchito wrote it is perfect, no corrections needed!

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    Default Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Gracias, and I stand corrected....that's why i am here.

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    Forum User cuchito_cuchito's Avatar
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    Smile Re: Can someone tell me if this poem makes sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by gise1984
    The way Cuchito wrote it is perfect, no corrections needed!
    Oh!... ...()

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