rogerlii

hey buddies I am new here, and I am requesting your help, i need to translate this text into spanish, or if anyone can tell me what I translated wrong I tried but i had some difficulties to do it. I'll be so thankful if you help me...

in 1960, Shintaro Tsuji created a line of character-branded lifestyle products centered around gisft-giving occasions. However, had this Tokyo-based company not created Hello Kitty, it wouldn't have become nearly so succesful. Hello Kitty goods are in demand all over the world. They include purses, wastebaskets, pads and pens, erasers, cell phone holders, and much, much more...

this is my translation into spanish, is it ok, if not tellme my mistakes, please...

En 1969 Shintaro Tsuji creó una línea de un personaje de marca de estilo centrado en torno a la entrega de regalos de ocasión. Sin embargo, esta compañía con sede en Tokio no creó Hello Kity No habría llegado a ser casi tan exitoso. Los bienes de Hello Kitty están en demanda en todo el mundo. Incluyendo bolsos, papeleras, almohadillas y lapiceros, borradores, sujetadores para celulares, y mucho, mucho más.

thank you veery much!!

ed_freire

En 1960 Shintaro Tsuji creó una línea de regalos de estilo para toda ocasión con nombres de personaje. De entre todos sus personajes, "Hello Kitty" es quien ha dado mayor éxito a esta compañía con sede en Tokio. Existe en todo el mundo una gran demanda de productos de la marca "Hello Kitty," entre ellos bolsos, papeleras, almohadillas y bolígrafos, gomas de borrar, manos libres para móviles, y mucho, mucho más.

NOTE.
However, had this Tokyo-based company not created Hello Kitty, it wouldn't have become nearly so successful.

Even in English this sentence is awkward and the conjunction However does not rejoinder any assertion from the preceding sentence---so it is poor composition. I chose to replace it with:

Of all the characters "Hello Kitty" is the one that has given this Tokyo-based company the greatest success.

It doesn't hurt the translation, it improves the grammar and it leaves nothing out.

SandraT

Hi edfreire and rogerlii,

I think the sentence means that eventhough the company is successful if it had not created Hello Kitty, its success had not been so great.
this is my try


Sin embargo, el éxito de esta compañía no hubiera sido tal, si no hubiera creado a Hello Kitty.
Sin embargo, si la compañía no hubiera creado a Hello Kitty, no hubiera alcanzado semejante éxito.

what do you think?

Regards,

__________________
_____________________________
[Have a nice day!!!
♥ Sandra T ♥

ed_freire

Hi Sandra T,

You bet. Your suggestions are excellent and moreover they hold true to the original text.

Now Roger Lii has to decide whether he wants to be a literal translator or a meddler like me who once in a while likes to improve the original composition.

SandraT

hi fred,
you're not a meddler at all and your version was excellent as well. My try was because I thought that you could not figure the link between both sentences. I can see now that I was wrong. I just tried to be of some help. The credit is all yours because you were the one who helped rogerlii.


I am by no means a literal translator but a translator can not change the original either. I am sorry if my post was in any way offensive to you. I always try to help or offer other versions without disrespecting the previous posters and I have made (many times) many mistakes and have taken my blame.
Have a great day!

__________________
_____________________________
[Have a nice day!!!
♥ Sandra T ♥

ed_freire

Sandra T,

"I am by no means a literal translator but a translator can not change the original either."

An interesting proposition for a debate. I hold that especially in technical translations changing the original text is mandatory if the alterations aid comprehension, readability and in some cases accuracy and if no relevant technical information is omitted.

I would add that translations of poetry almost always benefit from a little judicious meddling as well. That's just my opinion and it is also my modus operandi. For example I submit the virtue of translating Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" with a little tampering for, as Poe would say, the sake of effect.

Objectively speaking, Copyright Law treats translated material as new material, and the translator as an author.

SandraT

Hi Edfreire,

when I said that we can not change the original, I meant, literally, we can not change the original. I did not refer to the translation. Of course, a literal translator is a poor translator.

This is what I mean

Altough you can "work" with the translation, you can not replace the original. This is exactly what I meant. I do not support the literal translators. If you run into any of my other posts, you may realize this.
And this has been debated many, many times in this forum and I have always, always stood for the non-literal translations.

__________________
_____________________________
[Have a nice day!!!
♥ Sandra T ♥

ed_freire

Sandra T,

Your point is made.

Perhaps for the benefit of those who read us, and just for the fun of it, I challenge you, Sandra T, to illustrate your point by translating the first two lines of "The Raven." I presently do the same; and hereafter let's let each reader judge the merits of either valid approach.

My Version

Explanation

This is how I would "work" with the original lines of The Raven to impress a poetic glimmer to the Spanish translation which remains true to the spirit of the original so that even Poe himself would assent to it.

(1) My first crucial remark is this simple declaration: Generally speaking English prose is sharp, curt, honed, whereas Spanish prose is verbose, grandiloquent and very fond of circumlocution.

(2) As a consequence it is pointless to translate The Raven by endeavouring to preserve its original meter--or directly--and expect the translation to convey a delicate rhyme.

(3) To convey a highly desirable poetic flow to the Spanish translation frequent recourse to synonyms or near-synonyms must be made, and as well the occasional word be inserted or dropped.

(4) The selection of those adjectives that are inexistent in the original lines must conform to the atmosphere of the full poem.

(5) Poe uses a base meter of eight syllables (octameter). Bearing (1) in mind I choose a rhyming pattern of twelve syllables (dodecameter).

To the point,

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

Fuera en una medianoche aciaga, mientras ponderaba débil y sin gana,
De muchos viejos libros su contenido raro, curioso, yermo en el olvido,

EduardoFreire


---PD. Ya puestos, no puedo resistir la tentación de completar la primera estrofa:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more."


Fuera en una medianoche aciaga, mientras ponderaba débil y sin gana,
De muchos viejos libros su contenido raro, curioso, yermo en el olvido;
Fué cuando ya cabeceaba, somnoliente, que desde la puerta vino de repente
El ruído del suave raspar insistente, repetido, de algún desconocido.
-Una visita -murmuré- que albergue solicita del vendaval sorprendido;
Esto sólo, y nada más, ha sido.

hermit

hi ed and sandraT - it's true that a literal translation sometimes lacks the
style and flavor of a more comprehensive translation; i guess both can be
perfectly ok depending on the overall context.

sandra - i learned my spanish in santo domingo, mostly from dominicans,
puerto ricans, and cubans. so refreshing to read el castellano with the
lyricism of the antilles.

hermit

rogerlii

hey thanks a lot for your answers, ill check them carefully at night because in this moment i am at school and i have no time to read all your answers... and thanks again for supporting...



bye!!