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Thread: Another composition I need to revise.

 
  1. #1
    Registered User foros's Avatar
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    Default Another composition I need to revise.

    What are the advantages and disadvantages of being famous?

    Nowadays, being a famous person in Spain can be very lucrative. There are many programmes that give a wide offer such as “MTV”, “Telecinco” and “Antena 3”. This, added to the fact that in Spain we have always had an interest of this kind of programmes, makes the perfect combination for being or trying to be famous.


    The advantages of being famous are quite obvious:

    • You are known by a lot of people.
    • You will earn money very fast.
    • Your social status (life style) will change in a better way.


    However, there are many disadvantages of being famous:

    • Your private life disappears.
    • You can ruin your marriage.
    • You can be kidnapped or hurt by criminals.
    • You will be criticized in many different ways.
    • Stalkers will be chasing you for every day of your life.


    In conclusion, being a famous person can be very risky, and in my personal opinion there are many more disadvantages than advantages, but this seems to have no matter on those people who want to be famous.


    Please, check my report for mistakes (grammar, punctuation and spelling)

  2. #2
    Senior Member Cotty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition I need to revise.

    What are the advantages and disadvantages of being famous? Advantages and disadvantages of being famous


    Nowadays, being a famous person in Spain can be very lucrative. There are many channels that offer a wide variety of celebrity programmes* such as MTV, Telecinco and Antena 3. This, added to the fact that in Spain there has always been an interest for this kind of programmes, makes the perfect combination for being or trying to be famous.


    The advantages of being famous are quite obvious:
    (here for the sake of strict parallelism you can put all three in the same tense [simple present])
    • You are known by a lot of people.
    • You will earn money very fast.
    • Your social status and lifestyle will change for the better [will improve].

    However, there are many disadvantages of being famous:

    • Your private life disappears.
    • You can ruin your marriage.
    • You can be kidnapped or hurt by criminals.
    • You will be criticized in many different ways.
    • Stalkers will be chasing you for every day of your life.
    [You can be harassed by stalkers for the rest of your life.]

    In conclusion, being a famous person can be very risky, and in my personal opinion there are many more disadvantages than advantages; but that doesn’t seem to be important for those who want to be famous. [That doesn’t stop people from wanting to be famous.]

    *Programme is British spelling. Am. sp. program. Also, TV shows.
    Last edited by Cotty; 04-07-2011 at 10:04 AM.

  3. #3
    Registered User foros's Avatar
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    Default Re: Another composition I need to revise.

    Superb! thank you.

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