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English Linguistics This forum is intended to explore English language linguistics. Discuss terminology, vocabulary, grammatical approach and style and other English linguistics issues.

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Old 02-06-2007, 07:27 AM   #1
Nadia D
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Default Rules for writing

I just wanted to share this with you...

Rules for writing
    • Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
    • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
    • And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
    • It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
    • Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
    • Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
    • Be more or less specific.
    • Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
    • Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
    • No sentence fragments.
    • Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
    • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
    • Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
    • One should never generalize.
    • Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
    • Don't use no double negatives.
    • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    • One-word sentences? Eliminate.
    • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
    • The passive voice is to be ignored.
    • Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
    • Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
    • Do not use multiple exclamation points NOR all caps for emphasis!!!
    • Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
    • Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
    • Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
    • Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
    • If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
    • Puns are for children, not groan readers.
    • Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
    • Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
    • Who needs rhetorical questions?
    • Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
    • The passive voice should never be used.
    • Do not put statements in the negative form.
    • A writer must not shift your point of view.
    • Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
    • Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
    • If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
    • Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
    • Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
    • Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
    • Always pick on the correct idiom.
    • The adverb always follows the verb.
    • Be careful to use the rite homonym.
    • And last...
      • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Old 02-07-2007, 04:41 AM   #2
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Loved it !
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Old 02-13-2007, 02:13 PM   #3
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this is great! thanks for sharing!
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Old 10-19-2008, 08:56 PM   #4
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Default Re: Rules for writing

Hahaha...
You got Me! I started reading this as a serious post and I thought "what the heck is wrong with Nadia...she's doing exactly what she says not to do!" Then it hit me! I'm a little SLOW at times.

Very, very good Nadia!
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: Rules for writing

Too funny, and that's a definite maybe!
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:54 AM   #6
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Default Re: Rules for writing

Funny, funny, funny!!!


Saludiños,



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Old 10-20-2008, 06:32 AM   #7
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Default Re: Rules for writing

Casi me lo pierdo....absolutamente ......¡GENIAL!
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Los hombres son superiores a las mujeres porque Alá les otorgó la primacia sobre ellas. Portanto, dió a los varones el doble de lo que dió a las mujeres. Los maridos que sufrieran desobediencia de sus mujeres pueden castigarlas: abandonarlas en sus lechos, e incluso golpearlas.
No se legó al hombre mayor calamidad que la mujer."


El Corán (libro sagrado de los musulmanes, recitado por Alá a Maomé en el siglo VI)

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Old 10-20-2008, 07:29 AM   #8
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Default Re: Rules for writing

perfecto!

¡gracias Nadia! ¡muy buen resumen!
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