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Thread: Short story - "Tick, Tack"

 
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    Default Short story - "Tick, Tack"

    Hi, I am spanish, and I am going to try this, write short stories in english to force me to write in english.
    I hope my stories like you.

    Of course, corrections, tips and comments will be welcome!!.



    Tick, tack

    I am 80 years old and I regret of having not doing what I should do. I should have read more novels, I like reading novels, historic novels,
    novels that take you to other age, novels that allow you learn how lived others people in other places. I should have said more care to the people
    I loved, now, it is too late. I should have said 'hello' to that woman I saw in that pub. What would happen? I will never know. Now, I see my hand
    full of cracks, swollen fingers. And I would see more about my hands if I had a good sight. But, it is too late.
    Sitting in the bench of my old people's home, I ask my self, why human beings realize too late of the things that really matter us? each second,
    each minute, each hour, each day,... never will be other the same.

    I raise my head to see The Sun. It is a quite odd Sun. This Sun not heat as much as I am used to.
    I hear a countdown as if it was out of this world.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    - "Mr. Matthew, you can open your eyes.." say the doctor,
    expert in hypnotism. "How have it gone?".

    - oh!, oh! I thought I was really 80 years old!!. Amazing..
    - Well, and what you have learnt?
    - uhm..uhm..it have been quite interesting but I have plenty of time to do what I have said. Thank doctor. bye.

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    Default Re: Short story - "Tick, Tack"

    Hi Riper

    The bad news: there are quite a few grammatical and syntactical errors, but I'll leave to a native the comments on that.

    The good news: well, this is just my personal opinion, but I liked the idea of the story, the punch-line and, above all, the pun of the title.

    Even better news: grammar and syntax can be learnt. Good luck with your project!

    Cheers.
    P.

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    Default Re: Short story - "Tick, Tack"

    Quote Originally Posted by pabloa View Post
    Hi Riper

    The bad news: there are quite a few grammatical and syntactical errors, but I'll leave to a native the comments on that.

    The good news: well, this is just my personal opinion, but I liked the idea of the story, the punch-line and, above all, the pun of the title.

    Even better news: grammar and syntax can be learnt. Good luck with your project!

    Cheers.
    P.
    Thanks pabloa ! I hope that the grammatical and syntactial errors are not very important.

    I hope you like the nexts.

    best

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    Default Re: Short story - "Tick, Tack"

    I liked your stories. Kudos to you! I struggle with writing so I admire anyone who is able to and makes an attempt to. Great job!

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