I will post a pun from each of my three favourite witty writers
- Oscar Wilde:
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
- William Shakespeare, from "The two gentlemen of Verona"
Speed: What’s the unkindest tide?
Launce: Why, he that’s tied here, Crab, my dog.
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- Winston Churchill
I couldn't find a pun from sir Winston - and I am sure there are many, so here goes this anecdote instead
George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill):
'Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one.'
Churchill's reply:
'Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one.'
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