Context is always important. Even in English sometimes friends call one another names that would produce broken noses and missing teeth if said to the wrong person in other contexts. Wasn't it in The Virginian that we read, "Smile when you call me that"? Name calling, even when done allegedly with affection, is not a habit worth acquiring.
If you do not like to be called "pinche", I'm surprised your significant other insists on saying it. What is so difficult about respecting your wishes? What part of "No" doesn't he understand?
You are giving a very strong meaning to "pinche". "Damn", "worthless", "lousy" etc. are probably closer to it in meaning. The origin of the word is scullery maid. This is the newest, least trained, less experienced, most easily replaced member of a houselhold staff. If something is "pinche", it is of little importance or value.
In Nicaragua and Costa Rica, the meaning is quite different. Here in CR it means stingy or nitpicking (petty). That's far from a compliment, but it's still not as bad as the meaning you give the word.
If a calm, sincere, heart to heart talk with him fails, you wish to address him as "hijo de put-" or "hijo de la chingad-", explaining that you mean it with great respect and affection. Assuming he doesn't faint, he may get the message. If he doesn't, I'm sure there are lots of other men waiting to put a smile on your face and much more concerned with your feelings than he. There's no need for you to settle for second best.
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